Whiskey Dreams of You and Me
by morganaDW
Summary: 1-shot. Sam's longing for Dean results in some bad habits & an interesting habit in what he assumes are just dreams brought on by pain and too much whiskey. That is until Dean returns from Hell with a little secret of his own to drop on his brother…in the shower of all places. *Limp/upset!Sam & Comforting/protective!Dean* (Dean/Sam) First time Wincest. (Set early season 4).


**Whiskey Dreams of You and Me**

**Summary: **_1-shot. Sam's longing for Dean results in some bad habits & an interesting habit in what he assumes are just dreams brought on by pain and too much whiskey. That is until Dean returns from Hell with a little secret of his own to drop on his brother…in the shower of all places. *Limp/upset!Sam & Comforting/protective!Dean* (Dean/Sam) First time Wincest. (The 1__st__ part is set before 04x01 & the 2__nd__ part is set after 04x03 In The Beginning)_

**Warnings: **_Language as always and also for explicit content since this is Wincest._

**Pairings: **_Dean/Sam_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything except the wicked imagination to write this stuff._

**Author Note:**_ A couple years ago on my main non-Wincest account I wrote a story titled Whiskey Demons. The start of this story is loosely set after that story but it doesn't have to be read to make sense of this one. I hope as this one goes on it explains itself and if not look me up on Facebook under morganaDW. Thanks and enjoy!_

**~SPN SPN SPN SPN~**

"Get out and get away from me!"

"You know you don't mean that. You're just a little cranky tonight."

Hazel eyes that were more than a little glassy from the amount of whiskey consumed narrowed into slits as he glared down at the petite looking brunette while his fingers itched to reach for the knife on the table by the bedside.

"Cranky?" Sam Winchester sneered, guessing he was a little drunk but he also couldn't give a crap since he was getting fairly used to both being drunk and also the urge to stab the demon killing knife right through Ruby's heart. "My brother's been in Hell almost four goddamn months and nothing you've 'taught' me has gotten me any closer to getting him out so excuse me for not feeling like letting you fuck me or whatever you want to do. Now get the hell outta my room and leave me alone for a while!"

Ruby frowned more, not liking Sam's attitude or how he's been since the night of that bar fight when he'd been cut open but wouldn't let her stitch him.

The young hunter had been more closed off from her, not wanting to take her advice or use his powers when he did go out with her or more importantly she was having a harder time getting him to drink from her arm and that was what the demon knew was important for this to work.

"Sam, I told you that to help Dean…" she ducked the blade but only just barely, more than a little shocked since while Sam could get violent he'd never turned on her before.

"Don't ever let my brother's name come out of your mouth again or I will rip your damn black eyes out and feed them to you before I send you back to Hell," Sam gritted, glaring at the demon inside the body of the young woman. "Get away from me, Ruby."

"Fine, call me when you come to your senses then!" she snapped, slamming the motel room door with a curse.

Sam didn't even notice the slam as he stumbled over to pick the blade up to return it to his duffel bag while finding the other bottle of Jack Daniels he knew should be there because he was no way close to being drunk enough to handle the night alone, especially since he was missing his older brother in a lot of ways lately; ways that Dean hadn't even known about.

"You know if you keep having these dreams and keep getting drunk like this then I might have something more to worry about than I already do."

He was drunk enough to stumble when he went to turn his head quickly at the voice but not enough to not feel the instant stab of grief that came when he saw his brother sitting in a chair, green eyes looking between the whiskey bottle in his hand and Sam.

"I'm not drunk enough to be hallucinating you again and give me that," Sam's fingers went to snatch the bottle only to scowl when he was pulled out of his reach. "This is not real. You are not here or else if you were I wouldn't be trying to get drunk so I could forget that I can't get you outta Hell."

"I guess I'm as real as you want to make me since this is your dream, Sammy," Dean's gaze narrowed as he took in the scar on Sam's side. "You cleaning that or should we just dump the whiskey on the infection now and save time for when I do come back?" he asked while Sam gave up on the bottle and just fell back on the bed with a sound that was between a groan and a huff.

Throwing an arm over his eyes, Sam blew out a breath. "I can't get Dean back because I don't wanna do what Ruby wants me to," he muttered, eyes burning from tears he was tired of crying. "I want my brother back but I don't want to become something he'd be ashamed of…anymore than he would be if he knew about what I really wanted from him.

"Dean would probably rather be in Hell if he knew just how twisted I was for wanting him in a way that would seriously go past the brother line," Sam snorted, hearing the bottle being placed on the table and footsteps nearing the bed. "Why do I keep dreaming you? Why do I keep dreaming this?"

The questions were soft, almost confused but Sam knew he could put it all off to his spiraling emotions and the whiskey he'd drank but there were times when he could swear his brother really was in the room with him or else he was dreaming really vividly.

"Like you keep saying, Geek Boy, I'm not here and this is all in your head…which should be turning to mush if you keep drinking like you have been or listening to the demon skank," Dean remarked easily, his tone light like Dean's would be when he was in a good mood and teasing came easily. "She can't give you what you want most, Sam. She lied to you before and in your heart you know she's lying now."

"But if there's the slightest chance of getting you back…getting Dean back…" Sam opened his eyes at the feel of the bed dipping down when Dean sat on the edge beside him. "I want to make him proud of me. I want to show him that I'm not a failure but…I guess we both know what my brother would think if he found out about how I've spent my nights lately."

"Hot sex with Ruby or this?" Dean lifted an eyebrow with a smirk, shaking his head. "Of course the whole sex with a demon thing would probably make me slap you harder than what else you want, what you think you're doing now."

Sitting up a little too fast and nearly falling forward off the bed if an arm hadn't shot across his chest to catch him. "I think probably both what I've done with Ruby in any sense and what I wished I could do with Dean would get me slapped, beat, or just killed cause my brother would not handle the fact that I want to…"

"…and I quote using your own words a couple nights ago 'fuck or suck'?" Dean put in helpfully, a smile small playing on his rugged face that Sam's fingers hovered close to but never actually touched. "Which way do you really want it, Sam?" he asked curiously, seeing the boy's eyes slid to his and then away before moving to the whiskey bottle again. "Ever since you started pulling these dream nights or pulling me into your dreams, you've been the one getting sucked off or jerked off but you've never made a move the other way."

"Because you're not real and only a sick thing in my head that I guess makes up for the loss of not having my brother with me anymore and…because while it was a huge dream at sixteen to be able to make my brother come with either my hand or my mouth I also know that Dean wouldn't bottom for anyone," Sam returned with a snort, trying to push up to get the whiskey he needed to take away the need and want only to have fingers push against his chest to put him back down on the bed.

"You don't need the liquor, Sammy," Dean told him quietly as if knowing what the Whiskey was being used for. "You don't need it just like you don't need what Ruby's doing. You know what you need."

"I need my brother," Sam's voice broke on a sob, groaning at the feel of fingers stroking over his stomach. "I need to hear his voice even if it's to tell me he regrets making the deal that sent him to Hell, that he regrets saving my life because I sure as Hell regret him doing it."

Green eyes seemed to flash hot but Sam didn't see the flash since his eyes were locked on the ceiling of the rundown cheap motel room rather than the whiskey induced dream of the brother he'd let down so badly. "I am so ignoring you said that and will put it off on the whiskey you've drank tonight on an empty stomach," Dean muttered, sliding off the bed to his knees while slipping between the knees that were hanging off the bed. "Tell me something, college boy."

"God, I am not drunk enough for this to be happening," Sam muttered, biting his lip when he felt firm fingers working the button and fly down on his jeans. "What? And why do I keep dreaming that this is happening? Dean never knew how I felt about him or what I'd wished for so much so why…"

"Because the second time you got wasted on Jack and Jim Beam you sobbed the whole sordid story out against my shoulder the second time you dragged me into this wild thing you call a dream," Dean replied without looking up while working to get Sam out of his jeans. "If you could have anything happen between us, I mean the real me, what would it be?"

Slowly Sam's eyes opened to watch as his dream image of his brother finally got his cock free to begin to lazily stroke it with long calloused fingers until he felt himself growing harder under Dean's touch and he had to blink to bring the question back to his mind.

"Probably like this, only not in my dreams and…maybe one day in the shower since I wish I could watch the water bead off Dean's chest or the way it runs down his waist to trail under his towel after he's showered," Sam blushed, adding in a mumble. "I'd try that now but the water would sober me up too fast and then you'd vanish since you're only a hallucination from too much drinking."

"Huh-uh," Dean murmured, gaze more heated at he shifted his grip on the hardening cock so just the mushroom tip showed from his hand as he dipped his head down to wrap his lips around it. "What else?" he asked huskily, his tongue licking against the slit to taste the bitter and salt flavor of precome but also something that was more Sam. "No actual sex? You've talked a good game so I can't imagine if you had a chance for you and me to do something like this that you wouldn't take it."

Sam knew he was dreaming or hallucinating or something but it never failed to turn him on and as Dean's hand and lips worked his cock to full hardness he let out a strong of low moans and sounds that resulted in a deep sound from the image who was doing this to him.

"Not that we ever would since Dean would kick my ass for even thinking this way about him but…yeah, I suppose if I ever told him and he didn't hate me or kill me for being more of a freak than everyone else thinks then I'd love to be able to feel his hands opening me to take his cock or…just to feel him hold me after this like you do sometimes," he gasped out a moan when warm lips took his cock deeper and a tongue licked up the underside to make him shiver, digging his fingers into the bed. "But…if Dean was back nothing would happen except when I jerked myself off because I could never tell my brother how I wanted him or how I wished he touch me or…God!"

It normally took a little longer to bring Sam off but this night with the lack of too much whiskey, the over emotional spiral he was feeling and the combination of his hallucination of Dean's hand and mouth both working his cock that had him coming fast and hard over the hand that still worked his twitching dick until Sam finally went limp.

"Y'know I told you the night I stitched you up that I would be coming back to you and I still mean that, Sammy," Dean murmured as he carefully but gently moved Sam fully up onto the bed to go through what seemed like a normal ritual of removing the jeans and briefs fully, cleaning him up before putting him in a pair of old sweats and a warm shirt. "I am coming back to you, baby boy and then we so need to have a long talk about some of the stuff that's come out of your mouth lately."

Usually after Sam fell asleep in his 'dream', Dean would sit with him to hold him while he slept in case any nightmares surfaced but tonight since he'd been taking a few of Sam's drunken comments a bit too seriously he needed to do a few things that included dumping the unopened whiskey down the drain in the bathroom.

He hesitated before easing onto the bed to feel the heat Sam always seemed to radiate to gently brush trembling fingers that didn't always feel like his own these days over Sam's face, pausing with his thumb against the younger man's bottom lip.

"Be safe, be careful and watch your damn ass until I get home to you, Sammy," he whispered, nearly breaking down to doing what he knew in his heart Sam had been aching for since these 'dream visits' started but refusing so long as Sam was asleep and then he gasped as the burning pain hit in his back and knew he was out of time again.

Something drew Sam out of his sleep earlier than usual and making him remember why he couldn't drink the hard stuff like Dean and their Dad could when his head throbbed and his mouth tasted like a dirty sock.

Looking around to find himself alone, this time Sam didn't bother to hide or cover the bitter sobs that burst free as the loneliness and loss of not having Dean with him finally got to him, pulling the pillow that was next to him into his arms to tuck it against his chest; the warmth on it nearly making him believe he wasn't dreaming and that somehow his brother had been with him.

"Miss you, De'n," he whispered into the stillness of the room, fingers closing around the amulet he wore that belonged to his brother before falling back to sleep with dreams and wishes.

**A month later:**

"'_If I didn't know you I'd want to hunt you_.'"

The hard words still reverberated around Sam's swirling brain as he worked to get himself under control before having to face Dean again.

It had been a little over a month since his last drunken whiskey inspired dream of him and Dean but he excused that because his real brother had been rescued from Hell by angels of all things but as Sam had feared things were not improving and that was without him coming close to revealing to Dean his worst sin.

Dean was tense since his return and refused to speak of Hell or what he'd endured there and while Sam wanted to know so he could better help his brother cope with the nightmares he knew Dean was having or just be a shoulder to lean on it seemed like his brother was more inclined to shut him out…and now would be the end of it.

Sam had known the moment Dean found out about Ruby and the way she'd gotten him to use his powers his brother's temper would spike and while the punch to the face hadn't shocked him, the way the words cut him did.

After punching him Dean had stormed out, probably to find a bar and Sam wished he could do the same thing. He wished for the whiskey that would put him under enough to maybe stop the hurt in his heart that he'd done the one thing he'd never wanted to and that was make his brother ashamed of him.

He'd heard Dean return a little while ago but stayed in the bathroom, using the shower to cover any sounds his broken tears might cause since he couldn't blame his brother for feeling this way. Sam had known how Dean would feel but wondered since he already hated him if he should just go for broke and drop the other sick show on him.

Scrubbing hard to get the feel of Ruby off his skin, Sam was unaware of the raw and broken sobs pouring free as the steaming water ran over him.

He hated her touch sometimes that it made him sick but it was worse when she mocked who he really wanted and that was usually what instigated him into giving in if it was only to try to make the need for touch go away for an hour but it was harder now with Dean in the same room again.

Sam thought about just going out and buying a bottle of whiskey and drinking it since he figured his brother wouldn't care what he did by this point but just when that idea was taking up root he felt an influx of cool air in the bathroom to realize the door had been opened and thought of how long he'd been in here.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you'd gotten back," he scrubbed both hands over his face to try to cover how raw his voice sounded right then, coughing as water went in his mouth and he was too busy not choking to pay any attention to much.

"I'm sorry I hit you and for what I said," Dean sounded tired but not drunk which was a mild surprise to Sam though his brother's voice also held another tone that he couldn't place right then since being naked in a shower with Dean just on the other side of the curtain was a little stressful considering how easy he could get hard with just a thought of his brother these days. "I was still raw from what I'd seen back in the past and I took it out on you, which wasn't fair."

Sam wanted to speak but he didn't want to let Dean know how upset he still was and hoped if he stayed silent that his brother would get the hint to leave the bathroom so he could grab a towel or his jeans. "I knew you'd be pissed when you found out about Ruby," he sighed after a moment of thick silence, leaning into the warm water while wondering how long it'd be before he jerked it on cold. "I didn't know where you'd gone to and I got scared that you'd…left or something and she's been bitchy since last month when I kicked her out of the room so…"

"I thought I told you that Ruby couldn't give you what you needed, Sam," Dean's tone was carefully modulated as if he were being careful not to sound wrong or testy.

"Yeah, well it was her or a fifth of Jack tonight so maybe you'd better pick which one you'd rather I fall toward," Sam didn't realized he'd spoke until he heard the sharp intake of breath and slammed his eyes shut while cursing himself. "Shit! I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean that. I…it's just been a bad night and…"

The sound and feel of the shower curtain being pulled back caught him by surprise and Sam held himself tense for a fist to come at that remark but stilled when hands touched his shoulders. "Dean?" he blinked, tensing for more than obvious reasons now. "Umm, I'll let you have the shower now and maybe I'll…"

"I seem to recall you saying something about you, me and a shower," Dean's voice dropped to a low husky murmur as his lips spoke from nearly right next to Sam's ear. "Change your mind in a month, Sammy?"

"Oh, God," Sam whispered, feeling his knees go weak but shaking his head as water beat down on his back. "I'm not drunk yet. I haven't had anything to drink yet so this is not happening and it's just my overworked brain telling me…"

He stopped talking when he felt familiar fingers curved down his side to lay flat against his stomach, just inches away from where his cock now began to show interest in the hard body pressing against his back. "Or maybe I should get an MRI to see if anything's wrong in my head because if I'm starting to dream when I know I'm awake and sober then something is wrong or…"

"Or you are overthinking too much like you normally do?" Dean suggested helpfully, turning Sam to face him and using both hands to frame his brother's face before he could lower it. "Look at me."

"Or you're drunk and I just can't smell it because…" Sam's heart was starting to sound like a jackhammer in his own ears as he tried to look anywhere except at the intense green eyes staring at him. "It's not real. This can't be real just like it hasn't been real since…"

"Since the time after I stitched you up after you got run through with a broken bottle?" Dean cut him off, guessing how this would go and so far Sam's reaction was running on schedule. "Since you decided that drinking yourself into a damn whiskey bottle was the way to go? Since I made every kind of deal known to Hell and Alastair to at least be allowed to see you those few times to keep you from self-destructing more than you were…to touch you?"

That brought Sam's eyes up to lock onto Dean's in a mixture of terror, shame, confusion and disbelief. "No, I dreamed you those times. I was drunk and hurting and missing you so I dreamed you were with me," he whispered, needing to believe that otherwise his whole life was crashing right there. "Because if you weren't a dream then…then you know what I've said about you, about us, about how I felt for you and you…oh God."

When Dean's eyes didn't change, or his face didn't shift and he just kept watching Sam with those knowing eyes, the younger man wasn't sure if he was going to pass out, be sick, get hit or all of the above.

Then his fingers were latching onto his brother's arms to try to hold on to him as if expecting Dean to walk away instead of being perfectly still except for the grip he had on Sam to keep him from sliding down the back of the shower stall.

"You heard…you know what I…" Sam was struggling to get words out past straining lungs when he was one huge step away from a panic attack. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Dean. You were never supposed to know how sick I really am or any of that stuff you heard me say or…ask you to do and…" he flinched when fingers reached up to stroke over his face.

"Did you ever wonder why I never kissed you in any of those cute little dreams you convinced yourself you were having, Sammy?" Dean asked calmly, easing Sam out of the direct spray of the shower while adjusting the shower head to a softer bead of water as it began raining over his back, careful to keep one hand on his brother's neck while using his other to press firmly against the center of his chest to feel the heart pounding under it. "I know you wanted it but did you ever ask yourself why I didn't?"

Sam had wondered that since in the dream, what he'd thought were dreams or visions, his brother hadn't balked at giving blowjobs or handjobs but hadn't kissed him like he'd burn aching for. Now he supposed he knew the answer to that and let his chin rest on his chest, fingers curling into his thighs to keep from touching the naked body leaning into him more.

"Because kissing your brother is wrong and bad and…mmhm?" he could only blinked when a hot mouth claimed his in a kiss that was searing and demanding while fingers slid up into his hair to wrap tight before his head was pulled back with enough force to make him whimper against the lips that he'd only allowed himself to dream of tasting.

"Kissing you is so much more wrong than what I did do?" Dean smirked after pulling back but kept his fingers tight in Sam's hair to control him until he got through to his brother. "I've sucked you off and brought you hard and climaxing with just my hand. I held off on kissing you because I didn't want to do that until we were together for real. I wanted to kiss you but not while you thought I was a dream so I'm also calling a do-over over on this one cause it was just to shut you up."

Listening and trying to understand, Sam was almost convinced he wasn't dreaming but not enough to trust that this was for real yet. "Who are you and what did you do with my brother?" he asked shakily, a little wary since he'd been tricked too many times before.

"I'm not possessed, I'm not a 'shifter since I still have the damn scar where Bobby made me cut myself when I got back," Dean rolled his eyes, smoothing his hand slowly through Sam's wet hair and feel him shudder. "I know you don't understand, Sammy and I…can't understand explain it really cause you don't need to know all of it except that you weren't dreaming, I was here and…I wish to God that you'd told me some of that stuff a long time ago."

"Why?" Sam asked quietly, still uncertain but deciding he'd go with whatever this was for the moment because he and Dean weren't fighting and he wanted to feel his brother close to him. "I didn't want you to think I was twisted or wrong for wanting you like this when our lives were screwed up enough."

Dean moved until they were chest to chest under the spraying water, his hands settling on Sam's waist as he moved until there was no space between them and he could feel his brother's reaction to being this close. "I can't or won't comment on the right or wrong of how you feel because we were both given the standard lesson on taboo subjects growing up and yeah, I'm fairly certain it would be frowned upon in a good many places if people who knew us learned what I'm about to do to you but…" he paused to lean in to place his lips over his brother's in a softer kiss before going on slowly. "…but ask me if I give a damn because I've been wanting you since before you were sixteen and only the thought of scaring you kept me from making a damn move."

It took less than a heartbeat for those words to sink in to Sam's muddled brain and then his eyes were locking back on Dean's. "You…but you…every time I turned around you were off with some girl or waitress or…" he needed to understand this but whatever his brother was doing as he began to kiss and lick his way down Sam's body to go to his knees in front of him in the tight fitting shower stall was making focusing very hard.

"Sam, loving you…wanting you…doesn't make me not like hot chicks anymore than you seemingly obsessing over your big brother all these years makes you not like them," Dean assured him, figuring that could be a tiny issue since he'd worked a lot of years to get past that one in his own mind. "I won't say I haven't been with the occasional guy a time or two but that was usually only when we needed cash in a hurry and calling Dad or Pastor Jim was out of the question but you're the only one that I've ever wanted or will ever want."

Lowering himself slowly to his knees in front of Sam, Dean lifted his eyes up to see his brother's eyes were getting wider as need began settling over him to replace his wariness. "Now, do you want to talk this through now or can I finally do what I came in here to do?" he asked curiously, fingers lightly stroking over Sam's thigh before coming close enough to tease over the skin just above his groin. "You were kinda interested in me sucking you off in the shower, Sammy. You still feel that way now that you know you weren't babbling to a dream?"

"God, yes," Sam groaned, locking his knees to keep himself standing as he watched Dean's smile turn into the cocky one he'd seen on him all his life; the one that never failed to take his breath away as his brother's fingers took his hardening cock in one hand to just hold it as if testing its weight before fingers closed and all Sam could do was moan.

"You really like this, don't you?" Dean chuckled, using his other hand to keep Sam as still as possible for the moment. "Like feeling me touch you and I know you've liked it when I've had this cock in my mouth but this time it's going to be a bit different than what we've done all those times you thought you were dreaming," he began in a voice that was starting to drop low and sexy with building desire because if Sam had his buried secrets than so did Dean and after so long of not thinking he'd ever get back to his brother it was hard not to go too fast.

"Huh?" Sam blinked, looking down and licking his kiss swollen bottom lip while fascinated with the way Dean was touching his cock. "Isn't there just one way to…well, suck someone?" he couldn't believe he was standing naked in a shower asking his equally naked brother that question.

Sam suspected several people, friends and family, were rolling over in their graves…if they had graves since very few hunters were ever buried.

"I have so neglected your education in the finer parts of sex, Sammy," Dean murmured, a teasing smile flitting over his lips as he lifted the hard cock closer to his mouth to just let the tip of his tongue lightly lick over and then into the sensitive slit, feeling Sam's body jump and hearing his soft oath from under the water. "Sure, there's basically one way to do it but the difference can all be in how it's done and this time you're not drunk and just needing to get off.

"This time I can take my time, or least as much time as it'll take this first time, so show you the difference and…" he paused to slide the tip of his thumb nail along the nerve on the underside of Sam's cock to feel his brother's whole body shudder. "God, you are so damn sensitive, baby boy."

Sam's memory seemed to flash back to the last time, before Dean's rescue from Hell, and he was asleep but still heard his brother call him the one nickname that he'd absolutely only allowed Dean to use and that hadn't been since he was sixteen and Dean began acting weird toward him.

"And what?" he managed to get out through a tightening chest, the nickname had caused a reaction in the cock his brother was still lightly teasing with fingertips and tongue and Sam was slowly coming to understand these feelings were so much more intense than what he'd felt before.

Merely lifting his eyes to look up, Dean's tongue flicked over the slit again to taste gathering precome and nearly groaned himself at the way his own cock was hardening. "And…this time when you come, Sammy…I'm not pulling off like I have before."

He was hard as it was but the thought of Dean swallowing, something his brother hadn't done on those earlier times, made it difficult for Sam not to come at the first touch of Dean's hot mouth sliding down his length slowly until Sam knew the head was bumping the back of his brother's throat.

"Dean…god, that is so hot…can you do this alright?" he asked, voice shaky as he tried not to move his hips while his fingers slid through Dean's short hair, wet from the running water of the shower. "Shit, please let this be real and not…Oh!"

While his mouth worked slowly up and down the growing cock and his tongue licked the underside as Dean began to suck a bit faster when Sam's moans and whimpers picked up, his other fingers moved between his brother's legs to find and cup his balls in his palm; pulling on them carefully until Sam's voice choked off on a gasping cry of need.

Sam had had other blowjobs before, usually in High School and a couple times Jessica had down it but it had never been like this. The intense pleasure shooting through his cock until it was hard and he felt Dean's mouth sucking on the tip like he often would his fingers after running them through whip cream.

"Fuck!" Sam wasn't even fully aware of when his hips started to thrust out to push his cock deeper into Dean's mouth; he wasn't until his brother's free hand laid against his hip with a gentle nudge and he tried to rein in the need to fuck his mouth but just watching his cock slip and slide between Dean's lips, feeling a teasing rake of teeth over the now fully sensitive cock had him shaking. "Dean…I can't…I'm going to…"

Dean knew Sam probably wouldn't last too long this time but also didn't hurry along either since his main plan with this was to just give his brother some enjoyment and relax him after the stress of tonight.

Caressing his one hand up over Sam's slick muscles reminded him again of how much his brother had changed in the four months, in Sam's mind, that they'd been separated but the low whimpers and the feel of Sam's fingers trying to catch his too short hair, a bad habit Sam had picked up when sparring as a kid, told him that the biggest piece of his little brother was still there.

It was that piece that Dean was determined to protect from Ruby's plans because he'd fought through Hell, literally, to make it back to his brother and didn't plan on losing him now; not when he'd finally admitted to wanting this with him.

Sam's hips were still thrusting against his mouth but not with real force and Dean could feel the strain that was having on his brother, smiling a little around the cock he was now hollowing his cheeks to suck deeper as he eased back enough to take what he knew would soon be happening he gave the tightening balls in his hand another gentle squeeze and pull before slipping a finger behind the sac to brush up against the skin behind him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Sam screamed at the unexpected burst of blinding white light behind his eyes a second before he felt him orgasm rip through him like he'd never felt it before, shooting come into Dean's mouth and down his throat. "Dean!"

Dean had known the second he touched that spot behind the sac that Sam's control would snap because he suspected his little brother had never had that spot touched or knew it would have the same reaction on his prostate as what will happen the first time Dean did that.

While Dean had been honest when he'd told Sam that the only guys he'd had sex with had been few and far between and always for a good reason since he normally didn't roll like that, he'd given his share of blow and hand jobs in his life so he knew how to deepthroat and what to expect when he felt Sam's climax tear into him like a raging freight train.

His mouth was locked tight as it continued to suck the cock deeply as if wanting to milk it fully, groaning a bit more as he came just from the noises escaping Sam's mouth and the taste of his brother's sweet, salty come hitting his tongue as he swallowed every drop while one hand moved over Sam's legs and stomach, anywhere he could touch at the moment while helping Sam ride the orgasm out and shuddering as his own slowly died off as he used other hand to jerk on his own cock to help it along.

He pulled off Sam's softening cock with a wet pop only because he could feel his brother's body going limp and reaching up to support him while gently easing Sam down to his knees with him in the shower, a little out of breath from forgetting to breathe a few times during that and from his own climax that the cooling water was washing down the drain.

"Sammy? Hey, you with me still?" he asked, voice gravelly from sucking as hard as he had and from swallowing but he didn't mind that when his little brother turned into him, body nearly boneless from his orgasm. "No, no, don't you dare fall to sleep on me in the shower."

"Turn the water off and prop me up," Sam mumbled sleepily, arms snaking around to hold onto Dean like he would as a kid and sleepy. "Never felt like this before," his eyes struggled to open to stare at his brother, pools of liquid hazel staring up at Dean. "Not even with Jess did it ever feel like that or did I come like that. Thank you, Dean."

The breaking voice, the wet puppy eyes were always two of Dean's weaknesses where his brother was concerned and while normally he'd shrug it off and make a comment to lighten the mood but this time as he worked to get Sam back to his feet, give them both another rinse of nearly cold water and back to the bedroom he didn't do that.

Gently easing Sam onto the bed farthest from the door, Dean eyed the double bed while deciding that from now on he was giving into the smirking hotel clerks and booking them rooms with either two queens of a king because he was only too aware of how restless and squirmy his brother tended to be in his sleep.

"You don't ever have to thank me for this, Sammy," he murmured after grabbing a pair of sleep shorts to pull on while finding a pair in Sam's duffel to slip on him to at least sleep in before stretching out next to him, not surprised to feel Sam curling against him and while cuddling was another thing Dean did not do as a rule he also wouldn't deny his brother this time. "Love you, baby boy," he whispered, pressing a gentle slow kiss to the corner of Sam's lips to feel his brother lean up into it. "Thought you were asleep."

"I was halfway until you kissed me and…god, Dean…you have no idea how long I've wanted you to kiss me," Sam's eyes and voice were sleepy as his fingers reached to curl around the amulet his brother now wore again. "I used to daydream every time I'd see you chewing your lip or the tip of a pencil what your lips felt like or what your mouth tasted like and…mhmmm."

Catching Sam's mouth fully with his, Dean kept this kiss slow and gentle still like he'd wanted to from the start and how he'd wanted to for years. Of course kissing him also seemed to be the best way to shut his brother up too which Dean now decided could come in handy.

"Your eyes are closing and you're half asleep so can we not say stuff like that right now because it won't take much to make me hard again and I have serious plans for testing out a few of those other things you mentioned you'd like us to do," Dean smiled against Sam's soft lips, curving a hand over his face while tucking his brother's head under his chin like he used to when Sam was small enough to actually fit in a bed together.

"You want to…again?" Sam wasn't sure if this would be a one-time thing or not but gasped as teasing fingers found the one spot on his side that could always make him writhe and of course his big brother knew every tickle spot on his body.

"You know for a former college boy you can still say the dumbest things, Sammy," Dean clucked his tongue but pulled the blanket up to cover them as he felt Sam shiver. "I've been waiting over eight years to be able to get you on a bed…or a shower or…anywhere else I can think of to try this so yeah, I want you again," he paused to card his fingers back through Sam's hair a few times before speaking again. "You know we still need to talk about her, right?"

Sam tensed briefly but relaxed at the feel of Dean's hand in his hair while he listened to his brother's heart. "She wants something from me but I can't figure out what," he yawned, smiling against Dean's neck as his brother's other hand trailed down to rest over his hip possessively and felt safe to sleep like he hadn't in a long time.

"I'm back now and I'll help you take care of it," Dean assured him, well aware of what the demon bitch had planned for his brother and not about to see it happen. "You good for tonight?" he asked, a little worried before but not so much since Sam was already drifting off to sleep.

"Awesome now," Sam murmured, drifting off when he thought of something. "Dean, did you…"

"Came in the shower without touching anything but your cock with my mouth," Dean chuckled, seeing the furrow starting between Sam's brows and guessing what he was thinking. "Sammy, those other times I didn't come or even get hard because I wasn't really here physically until Castiel yanked my soul out of the Pit," he tried to explain enough to reassure his brother but not have him asking in detail how it was even possible though Dean knew Sam well enough to know that eventually he would ask and he would have to tell him something.

Lifting his head enough to watch Dean's face for a moment, Sam kissed him again before laying his head back against Dean's chest to sleep. "Don't leave me?" he asked quietly, remembering every night while his brother had been gone and not wanting to wake up alone like that.

"You're stuck with me, little brother," Dean assured him, swallowing the lump in his throat at the unspoken fear in his brother's voice. "Go to sleep cause when you wake up and eat something then I can tell you what Dad almost bought and it wasn't the Impala."

Sam slipped into a full sleep at the sound of his brother's deep voice and light touches and was completely dead to the world when his cellphone began to ring.

Eyes shifting over to where his brother's phone laid within easy reach, Dean considered ignoring it but at the last minute snatched it up to hit the button with only a sneer at the number on the screen. "Pay very close attention to what I say to you, bitch. You will not touch my little brother again…in any goddamn way or I will send you back to Alastair personally," he growled, no trace of the gentle man who had just soothed Sam.

"You think your big plans are some huge secret but you'd be surprised what gets around downstairs and you'd also be surprised at a few of the tricks I picked up in forty years, ten of which taught me ways to make even ice cold demon bitches scream so understand that if you come close to Sam, or if you try to get him to do anything that he doesn't want to do or you ever think of touching him or hurting him…I will be your worst goddamn nightmare because I'm back and he's mine in all ways," Dean's finger cut the phone off on the vicious swearing being hurled at him, shutting the phone off to slip it into a drawer before drawing Sam tighter against him.

The older hunter knew and accepted he had secrets from his time in Hell that he'd try to keep from Sam for as long as he could since he wanted nothing from down there to touch him, including himself.

Though as he slowly relaxed and allowed himself to sleep, Dean didn't feel the same tension curling in the pit of his stomach as it had been since his return and he suspected the warm body laying in his arms had something to do with that.

Smoothing a finger down Sam's jaw where it was bruised from earlier, Dean closed his eyes and gave another kiss to his brother's head before letting sleep claim him and knew this night he'd sleep without waking up with the nightmares just like he knew that his brother would never again go to sleep under the effects of whiskey dreams and that they'd both slowly heal…if he could figure out what the hell the Angels in the mix wanted.

**The End**


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